Death

Bismillah

Just now, nearly one of the resident in my block jumped to his/her death. Fortunately, the onlookers managed to calm the person down as the person wanted to jump. The civil defence force and the ambulance were also quick on the spot. An accident had been curbed.

When i heard the news from my brother, my 'semangat' was down. I can never hear news of death. I'm easily 'lemah semangat'.

My block is notorious for suicide attempts. Over the eight years i lived here, there were many cases of suicide. It is not a reassuring fact, i know.

I have 'faced' death many times before. Both my grandfathers passed away when i was still a small child. I didn't understand why they had to go before, but i accepted the fact that they are gone. Sure, i miss them, but i never felt at loss. When i was in primary four, my father preceded them. I still didn't understand why my father 'went away' but i knew that he will never come back. When i kissed my father goodbye, i knew i cried...but the moment they put my father in the coffin, the tears dried up.

When i was 15, my grandmother followed their steps. Only then i knew how it felt to lose someone who is very dear to me. I cried so much that day. The days after that without my grandmother seemed different. Everything i did seem out of place.

Loss of dear ones affects me greatly, but loss of an acquaintance also affects me deeply. Even the death of a stranger leaves a mark upon me.

Death reminds me of Doomsday. Reminds me of Jannah and An-Nar. Reminds me of retribution.

Death brings out the best in me sometimes. Makes me feel remorse. Remorse at my sins.

How shall my end be? I craved to be in the best light... I craved to get Allah's blessings...
But simply craving is not enough.

Oh Allah
Guide us
Steer us to the right path

اهدنا الصراط المستقيم
صراط الذين أنعمت عليهم

Wallahu a'lam