بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
i hate being in this position..
i hate when i can't confide in anyone
i hate it when i have to live in secrecy..
i know what i'm doing, and what i've done
was what i will never accept
but sometimes i can't help myself
i kept saying that my sole purpose was to help
but i guess
Allah knows better
there were many times..many incidences
that i might have kept out of line
but everytime, Allah helped me
to steer away from doing wrong...
Allah tested me once..
and somehow i felt
i failed the test...
i guess many know now...
i've no other agenda
except as friends
maybe, i'm too close
and somehow questions are raised
to stop questions from arising
this friendship has to forgo
i'm afraid too
that this friendship
might develop to a relationship
a path which i don't want to go through...
friends, i hope to be sincere with you
but i need time
i need strength
in due time, i'll tell all
but for now, never stop reminding me
to stop myself from doing wrong
especially since Ramadhan is coming...
i sincerely hope so
please don't let me drift away further...