Berjalan Mencari Makna dalam Hidup


  • Allah & His Messenger
  • my family
  • mereka yang menyayangi saya :))
  • babies and toddlers
  • my course
  • my late cat :(

Saturday, August 30, 2008

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

i hate being in this position..
i hate when i can't confide in anyone
i hate it when i have to live in secrecy..

i know what i'm doing, and what i've done
was what i will never accept
but sometimes i can't help myself

i kept saying that my sole purpose was to help
but i guess
Allah knows better

there were many times..many incidences
that i might have kept out of line
but everytime, Allah helped me
to steer away from doing wrong...

Allah tested me once..
and somehow i felt
i failed the test...

i guess many know now...
but truly
i've no other agenda
except as friends

maybe, i'm too close
and somehow questions are raised

i guess
to stop questions from arising
this friendship has to forgo

i'm afraid too
that this friendship
might develop to a relationship

a path which i don't want to go through...

friends, i hope to be sincere with you
but i need time
i need strength

in due time, i'll tell all
but for now, never stop reminding me
to stop myself from doing wrong
especially since Ramadhan is coming...

i sincerely hope so
please don't let me drift away further...

Sunday, August 17, 2008


is the word for me now
confused over my emotions
confused over my actions

and the reason behind it...?
i think i know the answer...
but simply knowing is not enough

what shall i do?