Berjalan Mencari Makna dalam Hidup


  • Allah & His Messenger
  • my family
  • mereka yang menyayangi saya :))
  • babies and toddlers
  • my course
  • my late cat :(

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Makna Bahasa Rasa


Kadang-kadang ku tertanya
Apakah makna di sebalik bicara?

Ada masa ku terfikir
Apa yang hendak dizahirkan dari gerak geri?

Aku tiada jawapan. Sehingga kini aku masih segan.

Monday, September 9, 2013



Bukan sekali dua
Bukan sekejap cuma
Tapi mengapa tiap kali terjumpa
Ku harus menjadi yang ketiga?

- penat!

Sunday, September 1, 2013

raya 2013


I am one who do not like to share much about events, such as raya celebration. Somehow, I don't see the significance of sharing raya photos to the public. Maybe some would call me selfish.. maybe I am.

But this post will be extra special, as this year's celebration is the last one with only 5 of us.

Next year, insyaAllah, there will be 6. Maybe 6 and 1/2.. or 7, or even 7 and 1/2?




It has been a long while. I think I have grown up more these past few months than I ever before.

Working with toddlers and children has been most rewarding. I have never felt bored, even though work keeps piling up day by day. It's true that sometimes I tend to complain, but that's just natural, isn't it? I need to vent off some frustrations so that I won't blow up.

These little kids have secured a special place in my heart, I just can't imagine leaving them behind. I love them more and more each day, even though a few of them do get into my bad books. But after all, they are children... I felt remorseful every time I was too hard on them.

Looking at them, I felt looking into my past, my present and my future.

How innocent a child is. How the world is a happy place for a child.

I was like them then too. I never thought of sadness and cruelty would happen to anybody in the world. My understanding of 'sadness' was when I did not get to eat my favourite food or a friend decided to play with another person instead of me.

Presently, a child is, most of the time, a teacher of experience for me. A teacher of life. I learnt a great deal from them and I hope they learn as much from me as I do from them.

Watching them grow up each day, the future looms in front of me. I feel the challenge of educating the young minds of today and I wonder how much more challenging it would be teaching the young minds of tomorrow... which would include my own offspring (insyaAllah)

Allah knows best. Because Allah has indeed put me in a condition that lets me do thinking and reflecting every day.

Allahu musta'an~

Monday, July 8, 2013

cubit paha kanan, paha kiri terasa sakitnya


Pergolakan di Mesir. Bukan ku tak endah. Tapi diriku juga diselubungi tanda tanya.

Nak memberi sepatah dua kata, tidak selayaknya. Hanya membaca dan berdoa, sebagai bukti ku masih peka.

Cukup Allah sebagai pembela. Cukup Allah tempat pergantungan kita.

HasbunAllah wa ni'mal wakil~

Tuesday, June 25, 2013



Kadangkala gembira, kadangkala terdiam duka
Dua rasa daripada dia yang sama

Sunday, June 16, 2013

guru & pelajar


Alhamdulillah.. hampir 3 bulan bekerja sebagai seorang guru tadika. Diberi tanggungjawab mengajar 68 orang anak murid. Suatu angka yang besar. Suatu amanah yang berat.

Pada masa yang sama, saya masih seorang pelajar.

Disiplin diri harus mantap.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013



I've been wanting to post about my sister for a very looonngggg while.

I've been observing my sister every time we go out. She has this good habit of picking up trash, no matter where it was, and throw it away in a bin. But an empty bottle on the pathway couldn't do harm to anybody, right? And anyway, that empty bottle is dirty. Personally, I wouldn't want to touch anything dirty on the pathway when I'm oh so clean and tidy.

It is a small act in a human's eyes, but Allah sees it as a great act of kindness.

Another good habit of hers is to greet vendors at the market cheerfully. We all have the usual shops that we like to go to. We have seen them time and again, so why do we need to greet them like we have not seen them for long? But she doesn't care if people look at her strangely when she does that (even I feel weird)

So with the observation I made, I'll try to emulate her.




Tomorrow I'm going for an interview at Hanis Montessori. I pray to Allah, may He ease my path towards becoming part of the teaching staff there, amiin~

For the past few months, I kept seeing my path directing me to the teaching field. I was asked to help my nieces with their Quran recitation, and then a friend came up and asked for volunteers to tutor students with sicknesses that make them miss school many times, and I went for an interview for a teaching position at PCF kindergartens (though I've already turn down the offer unofficially), and now this interview came along..

However, a point brought up by a friend makes me think. The mother of the student I'll be tutoring asked me to help out her daughter with her recitation too. My friend told me that I was lucky to have the opportunity to teach Quran recitation.. pahala berterusan as long as what I taught is being practiced.

I reflected upon myself... have I been sincere, Lillahi Ta'ala, when I teach? Or do I work only for worldly gains?

Will I stand in front of Allah, saying I've been teaching for the sake of Him, only to have those empty words thrown back at me?


Wednesday, March 20, 2013

tak sabar nak kembali ke sekolah


Aaarrgghh... dua bulan sebelum ini, terasa berkobar-kobar nak mulakan sekolah semula. Bila duduk berbincang dengan pensyarah, masyaAllah, otak yang dah kempis nie terasa kembang semula. Input-input yang bernas buat diri terasa tak sabar nak menaip dan menulis.

Tapi... bila jauh dari pandangan, semangat pun dah jadi pudar. Apa yang dah dibincangkan semua seolah-olah dah jadi kenangan. Seakan masuk telinga kiri, keluar telinga kanan (saja terbalikkan sebab nak rhyme).

Sekarang dah kena siapkan surat minta maaf campur air mata. Tak dapatlah den nak sambung belajar di UM buat masa nie. InsyaAllah satu hari den kembali lagi. Buat masa nie, ambil udara baru pula. Suasana baru. Teman-teman baru. Pensyarah-pensyarah baru. InsyaAllah, jika tiada halangan, esok nak daftar di INCEIF. Moga dipermudahkan urusan. Moga Allah redha.


and the time just flies..


Since my last update, alhamdulillah, my sister is already safely engaged. Now, we are busy making preparations for September event. There were a lot of heated discussions, even before the engagement, between my sister & I and our mother. My sister wanted a simple engagement and wedding (and I agreed) but my mother kept asking to consider our BIG family. Simple just couldn't be done. And anyway, since it's a first wedding for the family, everybody wanted it to be a HUGE success.

We both wanted just what pertains in Sunnah, but culture caused a hindrance to it.

When it's my turn, I hope my mother and relatives will be much more understanding to accept what I want for my event.

p/s: ukhti soghirah, this is for you :))

Sunday, February 17, 2013

the other side of him


In welcoming the in-laws-to-be, my mother decided to do a spring cleaning. I came across a few diaries and note books my father used to write in his notes from his weekly gathering.

My heart ached as I keep on reading, even though I was laughing outside.

How meticulous was he.

He was consistent in updating his daily activities, even if it was only to write, "MC 2 hari, duduk rumah sahaja".

He made a table of his earnings, how much he had earn and how much he had spent for the day. How much money he was giving my mother, his mother, his children, money he put aside for savings etc.

How he copied nicely the lectures given by his teacher at the weekly gathering.

How he wrote a letter to himself, reminding him of the world and the hereafter.

How he was a good person and the best father a child could ask for.

I was feeling a bit disheartened when I thought that he had gone away so soon. We, his children, had no chance on learning to be the good person he is. We had no chance of growing up with his teachings.

How I miss my father so, so much :'(

May Allah grant him Jannah and place him among the anbiya', syuhada', solihin. Amiin~



I think 2013 is going to be an exciting year for the family... because we might be welcoming a new member in our family. Yeay!~ (I know, I don't sound quite sincere)

My mother is SUPER excited.  She keeps on mentioning what she has to do.. meeting in-laws-to-be, spring cleaning the house, window-shopping wedding items. It's good to see her being excited. The family has become stagnant for quite a while (I mean, there has been no major events for quite some time), so having a new family member sure add some spice in our lives.

My sister seems quite excited too. She used to be one who will shy away from the topic of marriages and the like (I'm usually the overly-excited one) but now she seems to be more open to discuss about this. And i'm jealous!

Well, I'm actually happy to see my mother up and about being excited. She definitely deserves some happiness, and none could make her happier than to see her children being happy (A wedding IS a happy event, right?)


Saturday, February 2, 2013



Long overdue post for 2013 I think.

2012 had left me in a bad state of confusion that I didn't even look forward to a new year.

I am now taking baby steps, again, towards being a better me.

May Allah bless.