Berjalan Mencari Makna dalam Hidup


  • Allah & His Messenger
  • my family
  • mereka yang menyayangi saya :))
  • babies and toddlers
  • my course
  • my late cat :(

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

tapi sayang seribu kali sayang


Everytime I fell out of love, I'm always saying "Menyayangi tak bermaksud memiliki" to comfort the aching heart. What more can I do when my feelings are not being shared with the other party? We cannot force love upon others.. it's something that one feels deep in one's heart, due to His rahmah..

But a statement from a friend gets me thinking..

If you love somebody, you would want to be with him..
Just like you say you love Allah, of course, you want Allah to always be with you, by your side..
If you know that you can't have him, then why love in the first place?

True enough..

I spent (read: waste) my time thinking about ways to make him fall for me, but I forgot to spare (read: spend) my thoughts for Him. In the end, he left me.. yet He stays with me.

And another statement is..

We don't own anything in this world..

That is a fact.

Everything in this world.. me, you, the land, the seas, the mountains, the stars, the moon && so on are all His. The ni'mah we enjoy are all His. We are His. And to Him we shall return..

So.. with these two enlightening statements, I don't feel i'm out of love..
Rather, I feel i'm loved~

Wallahu a'la wa a'lam..

Monday, May 9, 2011

materialistic much?


I've just finished cleaning up my room. Oh, two months away and my room has become such a mess. There are just so many things, i wonder where did i get all of these?

I've always said i wanted a simple life.. being a girl who does not put much care on fashion and stuffs, but i realised just now, i am not that. A simple girl won't have too many clothes until she has to hang them out of the cupboard. A simple girl won't have more bags than she could carry. So simply put, i'm not simple.. but maybe, i'm being materialistic.

Islam teaches people to be moderate, but i'm not following that.

So, i decided to put away my attitude of 'sayangnya nak bagi orang..' and give away some of my things to those who might need it more than i do..

Afterall, i'm not bringing those things together with me when i die.. and they won't help me in any way.. at the very least, if i give them away to gain His redha, it will help me in the hereafter, insyaAllah..

Oh Allah.. help me to be sincere.. only for You~~

i'll choose Him


Considering that my heart still feels uneasy, i decided to discuss affairs of my heart with two of my friends. One gave a positive feedback.. the other gave a warning (so that i won't be hurt by my own feelings)

Oh why do humans regard what others say most of the time?

Does this fit me?
Do I look okay?
Which is better for me, do you think?
Tell me your opinion, please...

and the list goes on..

Why do we care more about what others think rather than what He thinks of us?

In any case, i'll take what each of them says like a pinch of salt..
and i'll put my trust upon Him..

Wallahu a'la wa a'lam..

Sunday, May 8, 2011

my Mr. Right?


Bercakap, menulis, berbincang tentang topik jodoh, pernikahan, perkahwinan tak akan pernah habisnya selagimana aku tidak lagi berumahtangga, or so i presume. Tambahan lagi pula, di mana-mana sahaja di internet, terlalu mudah untuk mendapatkan artikel-artikel berkenaan dengan topik ini. Semua orang juga berbincang, sebagaimana aku.

Kalau rasa susah nak elak daripada membaca artikel-artikel tersebut, susah lagi ku rasa nak menepis perasaan ini... apatah lagi, di alam realiti, kita berkawan, di alam maya pun kita berkawan.. bila berjumpa, mata bertentang mata.. bila berpisah, asyik terkenang-kenang pula..

Seringkali ku cuba mengingatkan diri sendiri,

Jangan ikut nafsu..
Dia kan sudah berjanji..
Ada yang pasti..

Tidak perlu ragu..
Tidak perlu terburu-buru..
Menantikan suatu hari..
Si dia membawamu pergi..

Kadang kala, kata-kata seperti ini berkesan.. kadang-kadang pula, aku buat tak heran.. *geleng-geleng kepala*

Tapi, walau ada masanya ku lebih turutkan perasaan, ku ingin jadikan satu ayat ini sebagai motivasi..

*Mr. Right masih dalam genggamanNya*

Wallahu a'la wa a'lam..

Saturday, May 7, 2011



Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah for easing my path all this while.. for giving me the strength to go on in times of despair.. for making it easy for me to understand.. and for opening up many opportunities for me to go far, insyaAllah..

Since my university wanted to be a leader in research and innovation, postgraduate studies are being highly promoted. All these have motivated me more to continue my studies after my bachelor's degree. However, i still have some reservations..

I've seen how my mother gone through ups and downs all these years, trying to make ends meet, to support four schooling children. My mother has been looking forward to our graduation, because that's when she will be able to rest, the time to stop working extra hard, the time to focus on THE end.. It is also be the time for us to pay back all her hard work (since she was widowed) - which we will never be able to ever..

This makes me hesitate a bit to go on with my dreams. I want to continue my studies, but i know i cannot be selfish.

But i have discussed with my mother the options, and alhamdulillah, she was open to the ideas. I hope that i'll be granted the chance to realise my dreams. Now, i put my trust upon Him, because He plans the best for me as He knows what's best for me.

Wallahu a'la wa a'lam..

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

lasykar pelangi


-7 individu yang berbeza, tapi apabila diletakkan di tempat yang sama, 7 individu ini menjadi satu-

China merupakan platform kepada kami untuk lebih saling mengenali. Banyak yang kami pelajari tentang diri satu sama lain. Oh, macam ini rupanya aku.. ah, begini rupanya dia..

Adakala kita sama-sama suka tertawa...
Tak kurang juga masa kita bermasam muka..
Namun di sebaliknya,
Kita matang bersama..
Kita kuat bersama..
Kita perlu sesama..

Ku harap, hubungan yang terjalin di China kekal sekembalinya kita ke Malaysia.. :)

Monday, May 2, 2011

kembali tersimpul


Alhamdulillah.. kembaraku di China selama dua bulan telah berakhir.. kini ku kembali ke Malaysia, kembali kepada kehidupan seperti sebelumnya..

Dua bulan yang sangat indah, dua bulan terlakar mimpi indah..

Yang dulunya terlerai, kembali tersimpul.. ku harap kali ini, biar simpulannya kemas rapi..