Berjalan Mencari Makna dalam Hidup


  • Allah & His Messenger
  • my family
  • mereka yang menyayangi saya :))
  • babies and toddlers
  • my course
  • my late cat :(

Sunday, February 17, 2013

the other side of him


In welcoming the in-laws-to-be, my mother decided to do a spring cleaning. I came across a few diaries and note books my father used to write in his notes from his weekly gathering.

My heart ached as I keep on reading, even though I was laughing outside.

How meticulous was he.

He was consistent in updating his daily activities, even if it was only to write, "MC 2 hari, duduk rumah sahaja".

He made a table of his earnings, how much he had earn and how much he had spent for the day. How much money he was giving my mother, his mother, his children, money he put aside for savings etc.

How he copied nicely the lectures given by his teacher at the weekly gathering.

How he wrote a letter to himself, reminding him of the world and the hereafter.

How he was a good person and the best father a child could ask for.

I was feeling a bit disheartened when I thought that he had gone away so soon. We, his children, had no chance on learning to be the good person he is. We had no chance of growing up with his teachings.

How I miss my father so, so much :'(

May Allah grant him Jannah and place him among the anbiya', syuhada', solihin. Amiin~



I think 2013 is going to be an exciting year for the family... because we might be welcoming a new member in our family. Yeay!~ (I know, I don't sound quite sincere)

My mother is SUPER excited.  She keeps on mentioning what she has to do.. meeting in-laws-to-be, spring cleaning the house, window-shopping wedding items. It's good to see her being excited. The family has become stagnant for quite a while (I mean, there has been no major events for quite some time), so having a new family member sure add some spice in our lives.

My sister seems quite excited too. She used to be one who will shy away from the topic of marriages and the like (I'm usually the overly-excited one) but now she seems to be more open to discuss about this. And i'm jealous!

Well, I'm actually happy to see my mother up and about being excited. She definitely deserves some happiness, and none could make her happier than to see her children being happy (A wedding IS a happy event, right?)


Saturday, February 2, 2013



Long overdue post for 2013 I think.

2012 had left me in a bad state of confusion that I didn't even look forward to a new year.

I am now taking baby steps, again, towards being a better me.

May Allah bless.