clash of the TITANS

Bismillah

Alhamdulillah. Gotten my first paycheck for the month. I know i'll be spending much of the money on me, but I made a promise to myself that some of the money will go to my family, especially my mother. After all, what I learned was not all of the money you earn is for yourself. Some part of it are for others. And that's why there is zakat, sadaqah and such in Islam. (I won't go into details about these just yet. They belong to a whole other topic)

It just so happens that the GSS is here. Money and sale equals to splurge. I won't say i'm a shopaholic, but I do enjoy shopping. There is an adrenaline feeling of holding bags and bags of new items for me. But I try to keep under control. After all, I meant to save some for school.

Adieu.

subconcious thoughts

Bismillah

Have you ever remembered or be reminded to do something in your dreams? Say, you meant to do something before you sleep, or you keep thinking of doing a job the next day but you can't figure out what..? Then when you sleep, suddenly, it dawned upon you what you have been thinking all this while.

I have that problem. Sometimes, I like to think of several things at a time. And the usual case would be, I won't be able to remember all that I was thinking of.

But alhamdulillah, when I sleep, the thing that I forgot would be clear to me in my dreams. I find it very interesting how my mind works when I sleep. How is it when I am awake, I can't remember but the moment I sleep, my mind started working to find the answers.

Sometimes, when I will be too tired out to do my Isya' prayers, I never fail to wake up at around 3 or 4 in the morning. Just before Subuh, so that I will not miss my Isya' prayers. And I thank God for that. It seems that Allah reminds me every time I have not yet done my prayers. Alhamdulillah.

It makes me appreciate more and more about the wonderful gifts Allah has given to us, and how Allah will guide His servants whom he pleased to the right path, and steer away from the wrong.

Allah never fail to please His servants, but we are usually the ones who will forget Him. May our imaan will never waver. InsyaAllah.

Wallahu 'ala wa 'alam

A blessing in disguise

Bismillah

Allah has cleared a path for me to do dakwah. After all, why hold on to the knowledge within you and not practise it?

The existence of the H1N1 flu seems like a blessing in disguise for me. Because if the flu is not here, i won't get the work. No work means i will not meet my two partners, an Indian auntie and a Chinese guy.

Because we spend close to 10 hours each day together, it is the best opportunity for me to learn more about them, their culture, beliefs and faith as well as imparting knowledge about some Islam practices to them. It is a start. Small steps at first.

I realised that Allah will always help us when we help Islam. He does it surreptitiously. Leading us on to the right path if we're sidetracked. Open up opportunities for us when we face dead ends.

Hopefully, my presence will render some good to both my partners. If Allah wills it, may they find solace in Islam. Amiin.

InnaLillah

Bismillah

Pukul 6 pagi tadi, aku sekeluarga dikejutkan dengan berita bahawa salah seorang pak cik ku telah meninggal dunia. Innalillah. Sungguh tak disangka dan tak dijangka. Kenapa? Sebab selama ini, aku tidak pernah tahu akan kewujudan pak cik ku, dan selama ini, keluargaku tidak pernah diberitahu akan penyakitnya.

Kadang-kadang aku berasa marah. Kenapa kami disisihkan? Adakah ianya semua kerana harta? Adakalanya pula, aku sedih. Kerana hubunganku dengan mereka semakin jauh, dan aku tidak tahu bagaimana hendak dipulihkan lagi. Aku sayang saudaraku, kerana mereka dapat membangkitkan kenanganku kembali terhadap ayahku. Namun, jika kita tidak memperbaikinya sekarang, apakah kita akan mendapat peluang itu nanti?

Perkara ini sudah bertahun terjadi. Apakah kita masih mahu begini?

Ya Allah
Cucurilah rahmat ke atas roh ahli keluargaku yang telah pergi

Ibuku bercerita sedikit tentang arwah ayah. Tentang tingkah lakunya dengan adik-beradiknya. Bila ku fikir-fikir kembali, banyak perkara yang ku tidak tahu tentang ayahku. Rasa masa yang kami lalui bersama terlalu singkat. Dan aku, pada waktu itu, masih lagi keanak-anakan. Masih lagi tidak tahu bersyukur, menghargai setiap nikmat yang Allah berikan.

Aku menyesal kerana tidak pernah ingin mengenali ayahku semasa hayatnya. Tidak pernah mengucapkan betapa aku sayangkan ayahku. Aku masih teringat lagi, akulah anak yang paling nakal, dan yang paling susah dijaga. Aku suka membuli kakakku dan adikku. Memberi masalah setiap pagi sebelum ke sekolah. Jika bekal yang diberi tidak ku suka, aku akan lemparkannya. Memuntahkan isi perutku setiap kali diberi ubat. Biarpun begitu, ayahku begitu penyabar. Tidak pernah ku dipukul...cuma sekali sahaja.

Ayah tidak pernah dapat melihatku melepasi peringkat rendah. Tidak berkesempatan untuk melihat anaknya meraih O level, A level. Tidak dapat menghantarku ke universiti pada hari pertama.

Aku tidak ingin perkara yang sama berulang. Aku tak mahu kehilangan kesempatan untuk berbaik-baik semula dengan saudaraku, sebelum semuanya terlambat.

Nenek juga bersedih aku kurang menziarahinya. Tadi kukatakan padanya, sudah sebulan aku bercuti. Riak hampa jelas di wajahnya. Bagaimana nek? Bukan tak mahu berjumpa. Aku sedar kedatanganku ke sana mungkin tidak akan disambut dengan baik oleh saudara yang lain.



There are times when strangers are like family, and family are like strangers.

- Hlovate

Wallahu 'alam...