بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

i hate being in this position..
i hate when i can't confide in anyone
i hate it when i have to live in secrecy..

i know what i'm doing, and what i've done
was what i will never accept
but sometimes i can't help myself

i kept saying that my sole purpose was to help
but i guess
Allah knows better

there were many times..many incidences
that i might have kept out of line
but everytime, Allah helped me
to steer away from doing wrong...

Allah tested me once..
and somehow i felt
i failed the test...

i guess many know now...
but truly
i've no other agenda
except as friends

maybe, i'm too close
and somehow questions are raised

i guess
to stop questions from arising
this friendship has to forgo

i'm afraid too
that this friendship
might develop to a relationship

a path which i don't want to go through...

friends, i hope to be sincere with you
but i need time
i need strength

in due time, i'll tell all
but for now, never stop reminding me
to stop myself from doing wrong
especially since Ramadhan is coming...

i sincerely hope so
please don't let me drift away further...